Are you leading to serve or be served?

The last few weeks I’ve been reflecting on different leadership mindsets and been watching, observing, and thinking of the examples throughout my life. Robert Greenleaf’s servant leadership was one of the first theories that illuminated for me the difference in leadership mindsets.

Being raised as a leader in the military, we are taught to take care of those that we lead. We are taught that leadership is sometimes inconvenient. Leadership often involves sacrifice. We are taught to eat last and give to those we lead, especially when it is inconvenient.

Big Idea Up Front: Whether they realize it or not, leaders either believe in serving others or being served by others. Which are you?

Listening to Adam Grant’s podcast with Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird, their observations about how the team knows if a coach is out for them or out for themselves struck me because it’s true…. Those around leaders generally have a good sense of what a leader is focused on … their agenda or power or the success of the team and organization. We want our leaders to be for a greater good, including our own. And in small and big ways, leaders can send their intent to others.

In my career, I’ve noticed that the people who need to refer to themselves as servant leaders to others are not the leaders others believe are there to serve them. Robert Greenleaf in his book explains that servant leadership is fundamentally about if someone has a natural feeling to serve first, then they are moved to leadership from this heart to serve. He continues to expand on those who are called to serve first and explains that they model acceptance and empathy, not rejection. Servant leaders move to listen and learn first.

On the flip side, some people dislike the term “servant leadership” because they can confuse service to others as being subservient to others. That’s a dangerous way to consider a mindset that takes the honor and responsibility to lead others seriously.

In over two decades of expanding my leadership learning and experience, I see leaders that clearly have the mental model that they are to be served (though some claim that they are servant leaders). I will be honest, when I hear people claim to be servant leaders, I try to follow up with what specific behaviors they might display that demonstrates walking their talk.

A few questions to consider about your own leadership:

Do you expect people to be at your beck and call or available always at your convenience?

Or do you expect others to do what you want, when you want, regardless of the circumstances? (I call this “beck and call” management - because it isn’t leadership.). These leaders tend to disrupt others in every way possible … they may want to get something off their plate by reaching out well outside business hours and don’t honor boundaries. NOTE: “Beck and Call” management is primarily when leaders penalize people for NOT responding and taking action immediately. Lots of leaders I know genuinely don’t expect a response out of business hours … and lots do. Do your people know which you are?

This question is important because while intent matters - impact in this space can be especially important. How do you handle when someone isn’t available for you (on a non-urgent issue)? Do you care when you interrupt the lives of those you lead?

Beyond availability expectations, the next question is about mindset related to work to be done - and the role you play in supporting (or not).

Do you watch for opportunities to (quietly) step in and help?

Or do you avoid anything that includes work “beneath” you? Leaders who spend time helping set up or clean up. I was recently reading a book by Dave Ramsey about the big impact small actions - like helping unload a truck have in setting the tone. NOTE: If you are wanting or expecting credit for doing these things, your mindset isn’t in service … it’s in service to receiving credit for behaviors. With that, you are making it about you … which is the opposite of servant leadership.

The final question is about noticing, appreciation, and gratitude for the many things that can be done to make your life better or easier.

Do you express gratitude for the ways people make your life or work easier, or do you expect it?

When I was an Air Force ROTC cadet, I learned about RHIP. (RHIP: Rank has its privileges.) RHIP was often code for higher rank means expecting things to just be done. I have observed this type of expectation when someone does something kind for someone in a position of power. Usually something that is not a job requirement but instead a kind gesture, and the individual dismisses it is if they deserve this extra kindness. A similar behavior is sometimes when someone else is the recipient of someone's kindness and the same person is offended it wasn't them. Neither of these is an indicator of someone who is seeking to serve others with their leadership.

What if instead of Rank Has Its Privilege, we reframed it Rank Has Its Purpose … and for servant leaders, that purpose is to use the rank or power for others and for a mission.

So, what do we do?

Selfish moments are something every human is guilty of; the concern comes when individuals become leaders, and they grow in power without shifting their focus from what others can do for me to what is my role to help and to support others?

(1) Pause: My favorite leadership tool is to pause and ask yourself these questions. Consider what you are expecting … and who does it benefit?

(2) Reflect: Some people are comfortable with this mindset. While these aren’t my people, most leaders I connect with across industries don’t want to be self focused and oriented.

(3) If needed, make a different choice.

Much of leadership is about mindset and the actions we take because of that mindset. In between is a choice, so if you want to embrace the idea of using your rank, power, and privilege for others, choose to.

Question for action: Am I a leader who is serving others or who wants to be served? Who do I want to be?

Dig Deeper

Listen to Adam’s podcast: Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird on le… - Worklife with Adam Grant - Apple Podcasts

Read the original book by Robert Greenleaf: https://amzn.to/4js0rzg