Are you managing your attention or is it managing you?
- Dr. Sara Reed
- Feb 6
- 4 min read
I had the opportunity to spend some time with brilliant minds this week and was asked the question "What are leaders not doing well in the current environment?"
What a powerful question to be asked; I have been thinking a lot about attention. Part of it was from an Adam Grant quote, part of it was from a few quotes from a book I am currently reading Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Transform Us).
Big Idea Upfront:
Your attention is shaped by your choices. In leadership, you need to choose to pause, to be curious & to be present for people.
Question to consider:
What do you need to be more intentional with your attention for others?
From Adam Grant,
Your attention is the greatest gift you can give someone.
From Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross (authors of Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Transform Us)
"You can't learn if you don't pay attention. You can't remember if you don't learn."
With these thoughts and an excellent prompt, my answer was three-fold:
(1) Pause & attention
(2) Curiosity
(3) Presence with people
Pause is one aspect of leadership that I continue to come back to because leadership typically leads to more -- more tasks, more people who need you, more competing priorities, more.... more .... more...
And it can be too easy to become distracted by all the things coming in and miss the opportunity to pause and to pay attention to the people or person you are with. This state of life is not one that is conducive to deep thinking, excellent decisions, or the human connections that make leadership the opportunity to positively impact the lives of those you lead.
Pause & Attention
I wrote about the power of pausing in leadership in a prior post, and I continue to be reminded how essential it is. Just this week I didn't pause - and communicated in a way that isn't my norm or my best. Ugh. I was stressed, distracted, and felt the need to communicate .... what a bad combination! So much of leadership is being able to see the unsaid, and if you aren't paying attention, you won't do this well. Your attention as a leader can be more focused when you pause, create conditions for curiosity, and be present for people.
How might we build habits to master our attention?
Attention audit: An attention audit does not have to be large and cumbersome. Instead, the attention audit is you, as a leader, paying attention to where you are paying attention. Honestly, I realize this is easier said than done. Like listening, we often think we’re paying better attention than we actually are. Be honest with yourself. It can take that reflection to realize we need a better practice of pausing and choosing where and what we give our attention to.
Ask: A second potential strategy is to ask those around you. Share your intention about wanting to be better about your attention. Then ask how you can get better at giving the gift of attention. I realize this is a tough ask, AND it will show a commitment to those around you just in the asking.
Note: Children are also very good at giving blunt feedback.
As I was reading this week, I appreciated when the authors of Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Transform Us wrote,
"Attention is essential for sparking curiosity."
So, we can’t even get to curiosity if we are distracted and not paying attention. Creating the conditions for your own curiosity is an important set of leadership choices.
Curiosity
As humans, we were born to be curious, and yet we can be too busy to give the attention to someone that sparks our curiosity. Mónica Guzmán in her book, I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, writes
Curiosity's archenemy is certainty.
This statement is especially powerful in leadership. As leaders, it is dangerous to be certain about other people. It's dangerous because you may assume you know:
What they think
What matters to them
What decisions they would make
What opportunities they want
One of my leadership principles is "Ask, don't assume." And it takes practice.
How might we build our curiosity as a leader?
Question bank: A simple place to start with enhancing curiosity is to come up with a few go to curiosity questions
Question your certainty: When you think you know something for sure, pause and ask yourself why do I think this is true? Who might give me a different perspective? What might I be missing?
By pausing, creating space for attention and curiosity, we are setting the stage to be present with and for people.
Presence with people
The final element I responded with is presence with people. For me, presence with people starts with pause, attention, and curiosity and extends to the willingness to sit with someone in various stages ... from getting to know them, solving business problems, brainstorming, to being part of different seasons of life. Presence with people is also knowing them well enough (and creating enough space) to check in and figure out when they might need you.
How might we build better presence with people?
Practice. Practice. Practice. Start by practicing an easier settings and advance. Then advance your skills by practicing presence with people when you are uncomfortable.
In my experience, presence with people is easier when you are genuinely paying attention and curious about the person or people in front of you.
I really love when I am asked a question that prompts me to think, to reflect, and to remember to be the leader I aspire to be .
Leadership is a practice, and mastering our attention is a leadership skill.
Question to consider: What is one thing you can do today to work towards being the master of your attention, so you can focus on others?
Dig Deeper
Read some thoughts on pause here: Clear Your Path with Pause & Perspective
Buy the book: Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Transform Us
Buy the book: I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
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