Blind Spots and Bold Choices: How Leaders Shape Culture by What They Ignore

Sometimes a topic screams at me. The past few weeks have been about culture, and specifically the impact that toxic people have on organizations, and everyone's role in not tolerating what they don't want around them. Earlier this week, I wrote about a small company taking intentional, positive action to create a great culture. (Read that one here: 🥋 Mastering the Art of Culture: Balancing Discipline, Growth, and Celebration)

I still keep ruminating (yes, it's beyond reflection at the multiple week point) on what happens when leaders and organizations won't see, acknowledge, or take action on behaviors that hurt or harm others and ultimately, the culture.

Listening to hours of sessions with one common theme, reading books and research, and hearing stories has me thinking about the choices we all make to see (or not), acknowledge (or not), and take action on (or not) behaviors that negatively impact others and organizational culture.

Big Idea Upfront: What leaders are willing to see or not see, and what they are willing to do or not do about toxic behaviors, shapes their organizational culture.

What you are unwilling to see, unwilling to acknowledge, and willing to tolerate becomes the culture you are creating.

Choose wisely.

Question to consider: What behaviors may I not be willing to see, acknowledge, or address that are negatively impacting people in my organization?

Recently at an event, I heard Danny Meyer, Founder and Executive Chairman, Union Square Hospitality Group; Founder, Shake Shack; Founder, Hospitality Quotient, describe culture as

Behaviors you celebrate - Behaviors you tolerate = Culture

The part of what he said that has been sticking in my head is about the behaviors that you tolerate. Throughout my career, I have encountered, observed, and listened to individuals who others have mistreated. I have been on the receiving end of abusive behavior, too. In some cases, it involves coaching with strategies to navigate organizational politics. In some cases, it has led to investigations and changes. In some instances, escalations have led to no changes. I was especially reflecting on the escalations I have made and the responses I received to the challenge.

Research by Donald Sull and Charles Sull suggests that 1 in 10 people experience their workplace as toxic. Their study also indicated that while there are 11 indicators of a toxic culture, leadership is the top reason. I often say that leaders have an immense responsibility for the experience of their people, and what they are willing to tolerate shapes that experience.

Responses like the following share insight into what the organization prioritizes or accepts:

This behavior isn't what we want; I need to learn more.

This response can help the person (who likely had to muster a lot of courage to share) feel heard and have hope that someone may be able to support them. When followed by action and change, this response can send an important message not only to that individual but to others who often witness toxic behaviors but stay silent.

This person gets things done

This answer is one of the top responses I have personally seen or heard from people who have come to me. It's part of why I developed the leadership belief that, at some point in everyone's career, they need to ensure their "how" is as important as the results they deliver. Getting things done as a "bulldozer," as Tessa West explains, can start early, so if leaders aren't coaching and correcting early, the individual with this behavior will only continue, and that bulldozing can turn into destruction of others and organizations.

I haven’t experienced that

I would suggest that many people who practice toxic or abusive behaviors fall into two camps:

(1) Individuals who behave in a certain way that has either been accepted or for whom feedback on their behavior has not been given.

(2) Individuals who are politically savvy enough to know who/where to display certain behaviors.

I’ve seen both, and if you discover that you've hired the first type into your leadership team, I hope you've the leadership courage to provide the necessary feedback to help the person adjust their behavior. These apply all the way to the top.

I doubt they have negative intent

I wonder … is there ever a positive intent behind an executive who uses their power to gossip, make accusations, or employ management by character assassination? Or to berate someone in front of others?

In my experience, the most toxic individuals are often also intelligent and politically astute. What a dangerous combination!

It’s also important to remember that intent does not equal impact, so even if we want to embrace the idea of assuming positive intent (which I strive for - and at times have to admit that a pattern of behavior makes that assumption more difficult to stomach).

In Careless People, Sarah Wynn-Williams writes,

Unhappy workplaces are conspiracies of silence.

Unfortunately, it is precisely this type of dismissive response that leads individuals to realize the only proper solution is to leave the team or even the organization, if it is the top-level leaders who display this behavior (or if those leaders aren’t holding others accountable). It is in dismissing others' experiences that silence or leaving becomes the only answer.

In her book Jerks at Work, Tessa West highlights 7 different types of jerks at work (though I'd say many don't just practice one of these types but combine them in ways that hurt individuals and teams):

1. Kiss Up/Kick down

2. Credit stealers

3. Bulldozers

4. Free Riders

5. Micromanagers

6. Neglectful bosses

7. Gaslighters

   
   

Each of these types of "jerks at work" creates havoc and damage, and some may be harder to diagnose than others. And all of them take a willingness to see, acknowledge, and take action to improve. Why does this matter? Research by Manuela Priesemuth suggests a "ripple effect," which means that negative behavior, such as bullying or abuse, can spread throughout an organization. I wish I could say that there is a perfect way to identify each of these, and I had a magic formula, and I have been guilty of not noticing these or being willing to take action. It has often been a leadership lesson for me.

Barbara Kellerman, in her book Leadership from Bad to Worse, argues:

Leaders virtually never, of their own volition, reverse course and go from being bad to being good.

Her statement makes it clear that if cultures are going to change, leaders need to take action when they hear about or personally observe the behavior. Leaders won't start acting better on their own, so if those around them are not willing to take action, the behavior will only worsen. Based on research, the lack of action to change also means that organizations will become increasingly toxic.

So, this week I am just asking a question for action.

Question for action: What behaviors do I need to be willing to see, acknowledge, and stop tolerating to move an organization forward?

Go Deeper:

• Read Jerks at Work: https://amzn.to/4iJVjq5

• Read Leadership from Bad to Worse: https://amzn.to/3QU91e0

• Read Careless People: https://amzn.to/3FXav4G

Read some research:

Sull, D., Sull, C., Cipolli, W., & Brighenti, C. (2022). Why Every Leader Needs to Worry about Toxic Culture. Read more here: https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/why-every-leader-needs-to-worry-about-toxic-culture/

Sull D. & Sull, C. (2022). How to Fix a Toxic Culture. Read more here: https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/how-to-fix-a-toxic-culture/

Priesemuth, M. (2020). Times Up For Toxic Workplaces. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/06/times-up-for-toxic-workplaces?utm_medium=paidsearch&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=domcontent&utm_term=Non-Brand&tpcc=paidsearch.google.dsacontent&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD9b3uQgZwXEBM7iD6sZnUlTRcz0o&gclid=CjwKCAjwnPS-BhBxEiwAZjMF0j1wC2YEovbyGLIwBuklFy-HXg_vMPnkXKqtFmXX3LKRtgwDxf18nhoCiF4QAvD_BwE