Dangerous Team Behavior: Comparison

In my almost thirty years of leading and studying teams, one of the key behaviors I have learned to watch for is comparison. It might be a small comment where an individual is comparing themselves to another; it might be a larger statement or comparison across another team. Either way - it is an indicator to me that the individual or team are so busy looking externally that they aren't focused on their own goals and objectives.

Big Idea Up Front: While comparison is human nature, leaders need to be aware and take proactive action to keep teams healthy.

First, it's essential to recognize that, as humans, we are naturally inclined to compare ourselves to others. It is normal - and it is what that gauging does to mindsets and behaviors that needs to be watched.

Second, not all comparison is bad. In fact, healthy comparison can actually be an inspiration and help team members and teams to set bigger goals - to want to learn and achieve more.

Third, the consequences of not taking any action may vary (as with all things human).

Consequences of doing nothing

• Maybe - your team members have a little healthy competition; a score card that helps them get better individually and collectively

  
  

• More likely - comparison turns in to unhealthy rivalry with unhealthy behaviors. It might be silos; it might be information hoarding; it might be lack of collaboration

• Maybe - your team comes together for shared growth and learning. (This type of behavior is often actively role modeled and supported by a leader or you might be lucky to have the type of team member who takes deep ownership. Be careful that someone else's ownership isn't your avoidance of a potential problem.

  
  

• More likely - comparison can create the unhealthy mindsets of superiority or complacency; whether team members or teams think they are better or never going to match the other team, both tend to cause stagnation in team growth and cohesion.

So What? I heard a comment. I heard my own team members comparing themselves to someone else. What do I actually do?

Action 1: Notice the behaviors. I wrote previously about why leaders need to ensure they have time to pay attention. (Read more here: Time, Attention, Curiosity: The New Leadership Trinity)

Action 2: Practice curiosity. Curiosity is essential because, as leaders, we can assume we know what is causing a challenge. We are often wrong.

Action 3: Address what you learn. Noticing and asking are important steps, and our teams expect us to take action.

How do I bring a comparing team together?

Key Idea: Comparison thrives in ambiguity, scarcity, and unclear value. A leader counters it by building clarity, celebrating individuality, and creating conditions where the team’s shared identity is stronger than the need to measure up against each other.

Language matters: Avoiding comparison language and instead considering individuals through the lens of “what someone brings to the table.” Language also matters in helping people understand how and why things might differ between team members or teams. Rarely is all work the same; the humans never are.

Role clarity: Make sure everyone knows where they fit and how their work matters. Role clarity connects closely with what you learn from team members about what their impressions are of work and roles.

Visible impact: Connect each person’s work to the mission and the team’s outcomes, so they see their importance without needing to compare.

Model the Behavior You Want: Two areas can be used to support this tactic. First, avoid “favorite” optics: Avoid public comparisons, even if meant as praise (“Alex did this faster than anyone else”). The second: Model credit-sharing. This tactic can be supported with curiosity: who else contributed to this success? Who else do you want to highlight?

Comparison doesn’t fade on its own—it festers in silence and erodes trust if left unchecked. Leaders can’t simply hope a team will “work it out”; they must intentionally step in to set the tone. By replacing ambiguous measures with personal progress markers, clarifying each person’s value, and rewarding shared success, leaders actively dismantle the conditions that fuel comparison. The choice is clear: take action now, or risk letting quiet rivalries undermine the team’s potential.