Books That Influence How I Live and Lead
There are books you read, and then there are books that read you. Over twenty-five years of leading others, transitioning to coaching and developing others, and doing my own inner work, I have found that a handful of books have become something more than references on a shelf. They have become companions. I return to them in those quiet moments inside chaos when I am trying to make sense of something that does not yet have language. Each time, they offer something new, not because the words have changed, but because I have.
I am often asked for reading recommendations. And while I always tailor my suggestions to the person and the moment, there is a core collection I come back to again and again that evolves as I read more and see more what leaders need. These are the books that have genuinely shaped how I think about leadership, how I show up for the people I serve, and how I try to live with integrity and intention.
They fall, roughly, into two categories:
(1) Books that help us know ourselves and grow our capacity, and
(2) Books that sharpen how we lead others through complexity, conflict, and change.
I want to share both, not as book reviews, but as personal reflections on why each one matters to me. You will also see that I tend towards three elements of books in this space:
(1) Grounded in research -- we are often wrong about what we think about people; research can help us see new things
(2) Practical tools -- I am focused on helping people to see and reach their potential, and that means doing something differently in many cases.
(3) Reflection-inspiring -- books that make me think and evaluate what I might do differently or how I might support others in growing their leadership capacity.
Knowing Yourself and Growing Your Capacity
Before we can lead anyone well, we have to understand who we are, what drives us, and where our edges are. These five books have been foundational in my own journey of self-understanding, and they have become essential tools in my work to help others grow.
If I had to name one idea that underpins everything I do in leadership development, it would be the concept of "growth mindset." Dweck's distinction between a fixed and a growth orientation is deceptively simple, but I have watched it unlock transformation in leaders who were stuck, convinced they had reached the ceiling of their abilities. I use this framework early in nearly every leadership development opportunity because it establishes the most important premise of all: we are not finished becoming who we can be. When a leader begins to see setbacks as data rather than verdicts, the entire trajectory of their development shifts.
I thought I understood self-awareness before I read this book. Eurich's research showed me how much I was missing, particularly her distinction between internal self-awareness and external self-awareness, and the uncomfortable finding that most of us are far less self-aware than we believe. This book has guided my own work and also the work I do with others. Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. I also greatly enjoyed her most recent book, "Shatterproof," which I read as I was being diagnosed and treated for cancer.
Duckworth's central argument, that passion and perseverance matter more than raw talent, resonates deeply with my own career path. I did not arrive at this work through a straight line. There were pivots, setbacks, and seasons where persistence was the only thing I had going for me.
I often see a similar pattern in the most effective leaders I work with: they are not necessarily the most brilliant people in the room, but they are the ones who stay committed to their purpose through difficulty.
Grit is not glamorous, but it is essential, and this book gives it the respect it deserves.
The leaders who grow the most are not the ones who avoid tension; they are the ones who learn to hold it.
So much of leadership happens in the space between competing demands: innovation and stability, accountability and compassion, short-term results and long-term vision. Smith and Lewis offer a framework for navigating these paradoxes rather than collapsing into either/or choices. In today's world, leaders are constantly asked to hold multiple truths at once. This book gave me better language, and better tools, for helping myself and others sit with complexity instead of rushing to resolve it.
This is the book I recommend to leaders of all stages, especially those experiencing transitions, where we can find ourselves quietly, whether we are building a life that matters.
Christensen takes frameworks from business strategy and applies them to the most human questions:
How do I invest in the relationships that matter most?
How do I stay true to my values when the incentives point elsewhere?
His writing is clear-eyed and deeply personal, and it has a way of cutting through the noise of professional achievement to ask what is really at stake. I find myself returning to it at transition points in my own life.
Leading with Courage, Clarity, and Connection
Knowing yourself is the foundation. But leadership is ultimately about what you do with that self-knowledge: how you build trust, navigate conflict, create environments where people can do their best work, and take the risks that meaningful change demands. These seven books have shaped how I think about that outward-facing work.
Brown's work has fundamentally influenced how I think about courage in organizations. Her insistence that vulnerability is not weakness, but the very foundation of brave leadership has given permission to thousands of leaders to show up more honestly.
I have seen entire team cultures shift when a senior leader is willing to say, "I do not have the answer, but I am committed to figuring this out with you." That kind of courage is contagious, and this book provides both the research and the practical tools to cultivate it.
This book is newer in my arsenal of books, and it articulates something I have observed throughout my career but never had precise language for: the fundamental human need to feel significant, noticed, and valued. Mercurio makes a compelling case that when people feel like they matter, truly matter, to their organization, everything changes: engagement, performance, retention, well-being. Mattering is not about perks or recognition programs. It is about whether people feel seen.
Leadership is not about having all the answers. It is about building environments where people feel safe enough to find them together.
I appreciate this book for its directness. Frei and Morriss challenge the assumption that meaningful organizational change has to be slow and cautious. They offer a practical, action-oriented approach that gives leaders permission to move decisively: to identify what is broken, act with urgency, and build trust simultaneously.
For leaders paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, this book is a breath of fresh air. It does not advocate recklessness; it advocates purposeful speed grounded in clear values.
Psychological safety is one of the most important and most misunderstood concepts in modern leadership. Edmondson's research makes the case that teams innovate, learn, and perform better when people feel safe to speak up, ask questions, and admit mistakes without fear of punishment. Building psychological safety is not about being nice; it is about creating the conditions for honesty and accountability to coexist.
We spend a great deal of time developing individual emotional intelligence, but far less attention goes to the collective emotional intelligence of teams. This book shifted my focus. It explores how teams can develop shared awareness, mutual regulation, and a collective capacity to navigate difficult emotions together.
I have seen teams that are full of individually high-EQ people still struggle because they have never done the work of building emotional intelligence as a group. This book provides a roadmap for that work, and helps leaders to see the work that needs to be done with teams.
Every leader (let's be honest, every human) has to navigate difficult workplace relationships. Gallo offers a practical, empathetic, and refreshingly honest guide to working with the people who challenge us most.
What I appreciate about this book is that it refuses to reduce people to archetypes or villains. Instead, it invites us to approach even the most frustrating dynamics with curiosity, strategy, and genuine empathy.
This may be the most important leadership book I have ever read. I read it at the beginning of my doctoral journey. Heifetz and Linsky write with unflinching honesty about the dangers of leadership: the kind that requires people to change their values, habits, and ways of working. They acknowledge what many leadership books gloss over: that real change is risky, that leaders who push for it often face resistance and even retaliation, and that surviving the process requires as much strategic self-preservation as it does courage.
I return to this book whenever I am talking with someone who is about to put themselves on the line for something that matters. It remains as essential today as the day it was published.
A Shelf That Tells a Story
Taken together, these twelve books form something like a personal leadership philosophy; one that has evolved over decades of practice, reflection, and doing the important work of leadership alongside others.
The philosophy is not complicated, but it is demanding: know yourself deeply, lead with courage and clarity, and build environments where people genuinely matter.
No single book can teach us everything we need to know about leadership or about being human. But the right books, encountered at the right time, can open doors we did not even know were there. They can give us language for what we have been feeling, frameworks for what we have been struggling with, and the quiet reassurance that we are not alone in the work.
I would love to hear from you. Which books have shaped how you lead and live? What is the book you keep returning to, recommending, pressing into the hands of someone who needs it? Our reading lives are richer when we share them.
© 2026 Dr. Sara Reed. All rights reserved.
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