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When Leaders Protect the Gap Four Tactics of Faux Leadership

“You cannot control the outcome of a crisis, but you can control who you want to be during one.” — Meredith Wilson Perfet in Simone Stolzoff’s book How to Not Know. That line stopped me. Because it names the truth most leaders don’t want to face: crisis doesn’t just test your leadership; it reveals it. When the pressure rises, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to the level of your preparation, your values, and your character. And in that freefall, Faux Leadership™ is e

A heartfelt bouquet of vibrant tulips with a card simply inscribed "mom" conveys a warm gesture of love and appreciation. Recently, I took my youngest on an adventure to a local farm. We petted baby animals, learned about them, and ate donuts: the essentials. As I sat on a bench watching her navigate the ropes course, the song “Don’t Blink” floated through the speakers, and it hit me: nearly 16 years of motherhood have been one long, beautiful learning lab. My children are li

Answering one of the top questions I'm asked: which books would you recommend to help me be a better leader?

I thought I had the framework of Faux Leadership™ nailed down: the performative connection, the surface‑level competence, the optics‑over‑outcomes mindset. But as I received feedback and reflected on what is too often a leadership fatal flaw, I realized I missed something essential... something that explains why these leaders can look polished, sound convincing, and still leave a trail of confusion, distrust, and exhaustion behind them. I missed the role of character, and whe

Some leadership lessons don’t arrive in boardrooms or strategy retreats; they show up in the quiet, ordinary moments when no one is watching, and we can learn them from watching how our children show up. Recently, I watched one of my daughters and one of her teammates choose initiative over excuses, curiosity over complacency, and commitment over convenience. What started as two high school athletes huddling over game film became a masterclass in the kind of leadership most o

Leadership often begins with good intentions. People step into leadership roles hoping to inspire, guide, and support their teams. Yet sometimes leadership takes a wrong turn, evolving into something less genuine and more performative. Faux leadership rarely starts maliciously. Instead, it may start as a survival strategy to fill gaps in competence, connection, or commitment or respond to an environment. Unfortunately, what may have started as a coping mechanism eventually

Organizations create faux leaders with how they develop them. This post presents options to avoid creating faux leaders.

Leadership is too often thought of in big moments - this argues that leadership instead is in the moments you show up for people.