The Privilege of Joining People in Their Moments of Life
- Dr. Sara Reed
- Jan 9, 2025
- 3 min read
“You have the privilege of joining people as they celebrate the most joyful moments in their lives & the chance to offer them a brief moment of consolation and relief in the midst of their most difficult ones.” - Will Guidara, in “Unreasonable Hospitality”
Big Idea Upfront: Living life with people IS leadership.
I have spent almost the last decade overseeing and leading teams to support employees when they are going through both amazing highs and often deep struggles, so I have had the responsibility of and the weight of not only sitting with people in these moments myself but also coaching, guiding & mentoring others to learn HOW to show up for people in their greatest moments and in the hardest. I started reading Will Guidara’s book “Unreasonable Hospitality,” based on the number of people who recommended it. When I started listening to it, I realized that it was a book I was going to want to sit with and let marinate with my thinking, my experience, and my reading.
When I read the quote above, while sitting on an airplane, my eyes teared up. I remember thinking - what in the world? I’m reading a business book. Business books don’t bring tears to your eyes. But the truth is that they do - when you read something that makes you remember the people who have showed up for you — in the best and worst times. I came home from the trip I was on, went back to work and on a Monday morning was reminded of the privilege it is to be invited into moments of joy and moments of suffering, when a former team member shared struggles with me. Honestly, when I saw their name pop up in my email, I thought it would be a quick note. Instead, I realized I had to stop what I was doing and read the note with focus and respond with care and outreach. It was a lot more than an email - it was a moment to show up for someone.
When I am teaching leadership development or coaching and guiding, often I will purposely bring in questions that challenge people to think about how they would respond when someone came to them with something.
Amazing news — that might change their commitment to your organization or might even mean they are leaving to pursue something new.
Sad news - a death in the family, cancer, a sick family member — things that will mean the person in front of you will need a different sort of support and guidance.
I honestly believe when someone shares something of emotional value or impact with you - it is an honor, a privilege. No matter what they are sharing. Because just the act of sharing is a leap of faith.
In many organizations, they could just take time off or a leave of absence. In your community, they might just not be around as much. But the simple act that YOU were the one they were open to sharing something so special with is truly a gift.
But in the moment, it might not feel like it. Instead, your head might be thinking about logistics - who and how are you going to cover for this person? Or you might be thinking — I don’t know what to say, so you want to share some benign platitude that in no way meets them where they are. Both of these are examples of missed opportunities. Missed opportunities to show up for someone. Missed opportunities to sit with someone in their joy or pain and just be present for them. I read, think and speak on leadership and the human experience it is quite a bit.
My family teases me - and at the same time, even down to my youngest, they are learning to see and to notice the inspiration around them in books, movies, shows, or even signs on the street. I appreciate that Will reminded me of the incredible importance of showing up for others - in all their moments. This book inspired me to remember: Living life with people IS leadership.
Think about it more:
⁉️ How can you prepare to show up for someone?
⁉️ What keeps you from sitting with people in their joy and their pain (and everything in between)?
⁉️ How can you set an intention to be ready when (not if) the next time you have her privilege to be invited into someone’s life and story?
Get the book: https://amzn.to/4at0Dv3
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